Dear Universe, I am worthy of my wildest dreams

Dear Universe,

I am worthy of my wildest dreams.

That's what I wrote on January 26th 2023, the morning I quit my job. The job I manifested for 5 years before getting. The job that made my dad proud. The job that made me feel "safe". It was also the  job that I dreaded going to every morning. I would day dream about quitting all day while I was there about opening my brick and mortar "Quartz Dream" a play on words for Court's dream. In fact all of my manifesting programs were written while I was on the clock at my "real job". I would make jewelry at my desk and read people's tarot cards in the spin studio. 

My daydream had another side to it though, every time I thought about quitting I would simultaneously envision my flop era. I had this irrational fear that if i quit my "safe job" it would be the beginning of my downfall, even if I took another "safe job" somewhere else. It had me in a chokehold and I was living in fear and my salary was how much I sold my dreams for.

We only get one life that we know of, and I was selling mine for the low price of $80,000. I do believe in reincarnation so I would soothe myself with "next lifetime will be the one for my dreams. I'll just work my ass off and settle this time. WTF?

This thinking didn't stop me from looking for my answers though. If I wasn't going to live my dream life, I at least needed to find something that paid better for less of my time.I applied for jobs and tried manifesting them and still nothing. this was unusual for me because typically I can pull anything to me. I was blocked.

So on January 14th, 2023 I went to my good friend and favorite witch for a tarot reading (about work) I wanted to see what my blocks were. I felt like I was stuck there forever. But to my disappointment NOTHING about work came up. Instead it was me and my younger self on the front line facing and processing our traumas. Feeling is not my forte so I did yell at my friend and tarot reader for making me feel things and not telling me anything about work (sorry Samantha, I love you).

I left there with the homework assignments of writing a letter to my younger self and all parties involved in the pain I was holding onto. I cried like a baby as I released all I had been holding onto. You see we don't realize that it's not always a lack state of mind that's interfering with why we can't move forward. Sometimes you've accumulated so much baggage that the Universe will stiff arm you until you drop some of it off, and release it. When we feel and process our emotions we make room to move forward.

Writing those letters to my younger self made me realize I was letting her down every time I settled. I am in charge of Court's dreams and she had some big, big plans. She knew no limits, she believed anything was possible and she would love to be the owner of Quartz Dream. My decision was made I was going to commit to my wildest dreams for me and her and all of the other versions of us to come. 2 weeks later I quit.

Fast forward to September 4, 2023 after quitting two jobs this year, and the universe catching me every single time I've leapt. We are in lease negotiations for Quartz Dream in the exact place I envisioned it to be. Though we haven't closed the deal yet I trust that my dreams will come true and this is just the beginning and it's all for Court's dream.

I AM WORTHY OF MY WILDEST DREAMS, WE ALL ARE